


Sasaeng

by 11dishwashers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (onesided) - Freeform, Gen, Ten is a sasaeng fan, sasaeng!au, taeyong is an idol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:12:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11097618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11dishwashers/pseuds/11dishwashers
Summary: Ten just really,reallylikes NCT.





	Sasaeng

**Author's Note:**

> I do not condone sasaeng activities in any way.

So Ten goes to see NCT 127 at their Music Bank stage, where the display screens light up blue with water jets as the members carry out the Firetruck choreography. Ten has his phone, since he was too freaked out about breaking his canon despite his need for some high quality shots of Taeyong for his instagram account.

His shaky hands hold up the phone, high above the waves of fangirls in front of him with long hair and stylish jackets and raised hands blocking his view, though he’s short he manages to get a clear shot of the stage, and he’s happy to find that none of the members look particularly awkward in the picture.

He won’t post it now. People could find him even in the crowd. Sneakiness was important to him, almost as important as seeing Taeyong in the flesh.

 

Ten has seen Taeyong live many times. Or maybe, he should say he’s seen  _ NCT 127  _ live many times, though honestly that’s not what he’s really a fan for in the first place. Of course he buys his albums in stacks and gets every single piece of merch signed by each member, but at the end of the day, when he sees his Taeyong photocards tacked to his bedroom wall, he knows. Like he knows that there’s no hope for him. He thinks, this can only really end in heartbreak.

But it doesn’t stop him.

 

When the Limitless teasers had come out, Ten stayed up arguing with other NCT fans on some forum about how Taeyong’s rap sounded. To him, it was a bit odd, but it didn’t matter. That voice came out of that man, his man, and that’s all there was to it.    
He streamed both the performance and rough versions for hours on all the devices he could get ahold of, including his roommate's sort of shitty tablet. The whole time, he kept his eyes trained on his man and his man only. He could not give less of a fuck about Mark’s ramen hair, a hotly debated topic on aforementioned forum.  Just the weirdly styled brown head of hair, with the beads, and the red jumpsuit. And that was that.

 

Ten has friends like him, like a pack, and they all have their groupchat full of messages-

‘ _ The managers not in the van i checked’ _

_ ‘HES REALLY THERE’ _

_ ‘He looks great’ _

_ ‘?????? guys ? what do i do the manager isnt there its just THEM’ _

But there’s of course competition. The shots of Doyoung’s legs swinging out of the van, pulled up in front of SM, and he always has a face mask. Photos of jaehyun hunched over, heavy coat on even though it’s spring, facemask and cap- he’s just walking down the street.    
Ten does not like to associate with the Taeyong  _ sasaengs.  _ He’s pinned them down as delusional, which is a bit rich, but whatever. He’s accepted his delusions.    
He’s the only one sending exclusive photos of Taeyong. And truthfully, he’d love to keep it that way. Love to not have to take photos to feel Taeyong’s presence; sifting through screenshots of the latest vlive. 

Enstranged. He feels enstranged- distanced from the other sasaengs shrieking ‘OPPA!’ when he can’t open his mouth. 

 

Don’t get him wrong though, he is a sasaeng. He knows this, works part time for taxi money, and when he sees one he’ll run to the road and frantically wave his hand out, not waiting for the taxi to halt before he’s opening the door.

“Follow that black van!” he’ll say, recompose himself. “The one with the tinted windows and the 2016 numberplate.”

Maybe, he’ll lie.

“It’s my mother, we just got into an argument.”

Maybe, they’ll know.

He’ll snap a photo of Taeyong with a bare face and baggy clothes on, treasure it, as if this proves something- he’s the only one on earth to have this picture. There’s an exclusivity there. A privacy.

 

It’s not really alright.

 

He wishes he could’ve been born a pretty girl with long hair, just like Taeyong’s ideal type. Even just born a girl at all. At least then he could pretend that he’d have a shot.

It’s lonely most of the time.

 

Love; something shared between two people who care deeply for each other.  
Intimacy; Ten being the only one to observe Taeyong while he sleeps, even if it's onesided awareness.  
Someday, he'll reach as far as the dorms. Maybe. Maybe.


End file.
